Long Time No See
It’s been a while. I had promised that I would attempt to blog more frequently but life as an adult: working mom, wife, gym rat, friend, family member, got in the way. I lost my best friend in May and that hit me very hard. Death at any age can be difficult but when you’re young, you still sort of see death as something in the future. We sure did. We were planning birthday celebrations that were almost 10 years in the future. I lost my will to do much and for a while I was unable to enjoy my usual extracurricular activities. I went through the motions of my everyday life; going to work, caring for my husband and child, and watching a smattering of anime.
I know that this blog is mostly about anime but I want to take the time to honor my best friend. I have still not gotten over her passing and though I know that she is with God and at peace, my heart still hurts. It is not often that we find that person who accepts us no matter who we are. Who laughs at our nerdy antics but doesn’t judge. The friend that keeps you together when you may fall apart.
In Anohana:The Flower We Saw That Day (Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai), when Meiko passes away, the group of friend drifted away because she was the glue holding them together. Although, there was not a group of us, my best friend was like how Meiko was to Jinta, in the way that I have sort of isolated from my other friends and not really wanting to interact with others. Anohana is a good example of how the pain of someone close to you passing away does not always dissipate over time. It can be very long-lasting to the point that it is paralyzing. For the main characters in Anohana, they needed some type of resolution to move on. It is even harder to move on when you don’t know the cause of the death.
There were times where I wondered if there was something I could have done to prevent her passing. Logically, I know that is not true but when you have a conversation with someone on the day of their passing, you go over that conversation repeatedly to see if there was something that you missed. Death is not easy to deal with especially when the death is premature as was the case in Anohana as with my best friend. We don’t know why she passed and we are still waiting on the results. I think there could be some resolution if we knew the reason. It’s definitely hard saying goodbye but I must say goodbye to her, goodbye to all the fun we had, to the fights, to the future plans (she was actually going to an anime con with me for the first time), to becoming old, crotchety women together. Goodbye, my friend, and thank you.
- Posted in: Anime
I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a friend so young is devastating. It hurts in in the future too, too, when you think if things you wish you could share with them and wonder how they’d feel about certain things. But know that they would never choose for you to be unhappy or dwelling on their loss. They would want you to be happy.
When my best friend died, it sent me into a deep depression that required medication. It was difficult to pull myself out of it and I developed apathy for many things. These days, I honor his memory with enjoying life and sharing the things we would have enjoyed together. I also donate to charities in his name and think of him regularly. There is no simple or easy fix for the crushing sadness and questions about whether you could have helped or changed things. Just try to focus on your life and honor them as much as you can, when you can.
Thank you. It is extremely hard to deal with and I just found out she was giving to charities before her death and still giving afterwards. Her mom found out and told me. It’s a good idea to give to charities in her name. She would like that. Again, thank you for responding. Death is such a real subject that is almost untouchable.
I am very sorry to hear of your best friend’s passing. An unexpected death is very hard to bear. At least, we know that Our Lord has taken the sting out of death and that we shall be reunited with all whom we hold dear in the future. I will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you. Right now, the sting is still there but I know that it will lessen in time. But I also know that she truly is in peace. I still miss her dearly.